搞笑英文话剧剧本?:Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物:T唐僧 S:孙悟空 E:猪八戒 J:沙僧B:白骨精 B1:B变成的村姑 B2:B变成的太婆B3:B变化成的老头 N:哪吒


? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 开始

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出,递给S)

S: Look,master (凑近T)………(T、S一齐转向E)

T: Bajie!How Many times I have told you, not to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west.

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we have arrived in White Tiger Mountain!

T:Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.

S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will , I will……….

S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Ahm!

T:(轻咳)Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Bajie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..

T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you have any idea?

S: No problem!(B已躲在一旁偷看)

E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I have learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can approach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific!

T:Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)

B1: (接近三人,望着)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three

people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来,看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: (倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what have done! She is my teacher!

S: She is a monster!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲,走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住,咳)Wukong,I’m disappointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)

B2:Hello,have you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑,B2想看后面是什么, T挡)

S: (咬牙切齿)You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后,S打,不想打到T头,T晕,S再打死B2)

E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T) J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)

B:son Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)

S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: (想阻止,未及)You,you.....(险些晕,E,J扶住 )You have killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!

T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲,离去)(音乐,营造“假”悲伤气氛)《人鬼情未了》

E: Master, brother Monkey is.......

T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)

T: (惊)You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗,被击退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后,打B,B晕)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What happened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its appearance into three shapes in order to cheat you! T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)

N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.

N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You have the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will

be against you in a court of law!(带走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)

S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)(音乐响)《敢问路在何方》(这个放伴奏)

T: Let's go guys!( 歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.

E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.

J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.

T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.

T: One after the other the seasons go by,and one after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.

T.S.E.J: You wonder where the road is, the road is under your feet.....


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